Last post I mentioned that I wanted to do my own take-off on Jim’s recent “What I hate” series from his blog. First I said some nice things, but now that I’ve done that, its on to my list of complaints. Before I begin though, let me bring up one thing I hate even more: WordPress. Specifically trying to get my pictures formatted and placed correctly. After messing with the last post for way longer than I had either time or patience to do, I ended up just lining them up in the center. And since I have no intention of going through that type of frustration again, I will probably do the same thing with this one.
So here in no particular order, are the first few things I hate about the garden:
- This vine over the garage. I have hated it from the day we moved in, and asked several times if we can’t just take it down or at least cut it way, way back. Apparently it is some “Southern Specialty” and it does bloom, look pretty, and smell smell good for approximately 1.7 hours each year. The rest of the time it just grows. According to our realtor these vines are very popular, and we’re supposed to like it (I’ve never taken well to being told what I’m supposed to like). A few neighbors have one. Those who don’t are welcome to have mine. It always looks like its about ready to attack, and I can’t walk underneath it without envisioning a snake slithering through the vine, hanging down from its tail and coiling around me. Plus I’ve just never gotten why they only go 1/2 way across. Its asymmetrical. Trimming it helps for no more than a week, and every time Jim gets on the ladder with tools to after it, I envision my life caring for a brain injured husband. Jim has never taken my dislike of this Garden-of-Eden monstrosity seriously until recently when he came in from putting a bag in our trash can, which sits directly underneath the vine and a lizard fell on his head. Who knows what else lives in there.
- The cherry tomato plants around our mailbox. When we moved into the house, Barbara had cherry tomato plants rather than flowers around the mailbox. It seemed like a cool, different idea, so we continued the tradition. Last year we planted the little orange kind, this year we have the little red kind. The problem is that none of us eat many cherry tomatoes. At least not at the level produced by these plants. It is the only vegetable plant we have that’s doing well, and its doing much too well. I learned last year, as I brought bag after bag of cherry tomatoes into work, as I ran out to throw them in the mailman’s truck, and as I went around the neighborhood trying to give them away, that cherry tomatoes are not nearly as popular as their full-grown cousins. We put them in every recipe and I find myself forcing myself to snack on them even though I don’t really like them very much. One or two, fine—-200 not so fine. They are difficult to cook with. Next year, flowers.
- Our dead vegetables. Yes, the SC heat has a lot to do with this, but its so discouraging to plant all those cool veggies and see them just wilting away, not producing a single vegetable. And this was a problem last year too. They get lots of water, but I have yet to produce a single zuchinni or squash in this state? Who can’t grow zuchinni’s?! Usually they take over and grow to mammoth proportions. But mine 80% dead with no blooms of any sort. I was so looking forward to cucumbers, pickles, squash, melons…..even the basic green onions and radishes died this years, and the herbs look awful. And to add insult to injury, other than tomatoes (big ones!), the things that are growing are the things I don’t really like – mainly the peppers.
To be continued..